If I had a nickel for every time I heard the greatest lie ever told, I would have a plethora of nickels. A boatload of sorts, because I hear the same tall tale from every single person who has ever been in love. Every person who has ever asked their significant other to marry them. What is that lie you ask?
“We are just going to have a small wedding.”
This year, the average wedding in America costs $29,650.
$29,650 is just the national average. That means more than likely your wedding will cost more (For example, in Florida where I live, the average is $40,000).
Here is what everyone says:
“Oh, ours won’t be like so-and-so’s. Just a few people, it won’t cost much. It will be so intimate and quaint. Just me and my future spouse, with only our closest friends and family. Maybe at a small church or on the beach. After we can all release turtle doves as we dance in the moonlight. ”
Here is what really happens:
Instead of turtle doves, champagne corks pop into the air, as everyone is running into each other during the cupid shuffle. Why is everyone running into each other you ask? Well, a combination of your 300 person guest list collectively trying to stay on the small square wood dance floor, and the open bar that you have provided. Your friends insisted that you can’t have a wedding without an open bar. You then are introduced to 42 people that you have never met in your life. The night rolls on with food, drinks, cake, photo booth photos, and people dancing like crazy. And guess what? It is a fantastic time.
I am not here to wedding shame you.
It’s actually the exact opposite. You already know that you could throw a down payment on a house instead of having your six hour wedding. Lets be real, you don’t care, this wedding is going to happen. I am going to step across the line of your traditional personal finance “guru” (I am air quoting so hard right now) and make a declaration about your wedding.
Treat yo’ self fool. Go on with your bad self and have that dream wedding.
I would be a hypocrite by telling you not to have an expensive wedding. We already know it is going to happen, but instead of acting like it won’t, plan for it. Make a road map on how to tackle this monster of an expense. You will already be stressed enough trying to pick out the venue, flowers, cake, and the photographer. If you can get the money part down, you’ll be better off than 99% of couples trying to plan their wedding.
But first a public service announcement…
“But Andrew, I don’t have $29,650, how can I not go into debt?”
Here’s how you prepare for these expenses:
(1.) Plan
Take the time to understand the costs associated with weddings. Don’t be the person who gets to a meeting with a photographer and acts like they just saw murder when they tell you the price of their services. Have some knowledge about the average cost and plan on what you will spend.
The reception venue and their services will cost the most out of pocket. This includes but is not exclusive to:
Bar service – The national average was $3,086 for bar service at a wedding this year. Depending on the type of drinks you consider serving, this could be significantly higher. You could opt for a cash bar but most of your guests will not be happy campers if you do so.
Food Catering – Making sure cousin Jimmy is well fed will be the most expensive cost for a wedding. This can range from $30-$100 a plate depending on how fancy your pants are. Do the math on your total guests and this can add up to thousands.
Venue Rental – The average venue rental in the United States was $3,100. Some venues will provide package deals on food, bar service etc.
Equipment Rental – Sometimes this is included, but oftentimes you’ll need chairs, tables, etc. Last year the average was $1,700.
You’ll also have other expenses:
Photographer ($2,440)
Ceremony Venue ($1,793)
Invitations ($6.32/piece)
Cake (3.32/ piece)
Transportation ($700)
Music ($588)
The list can go on!
(2.) Don’t lie to yourself (be realistic)
Take some time and actually think about this. Most people don’t spend a second planning for one of their biggest expenses to date. You know that your wedding is going to cost more than you intend, so make sure you are realistic in your planning. Don’t go out and say “I don’t need a videographer” when you know it’s important to you. As typical human psychology suggests, if it is important, you will go get a videographer. Let’s get real people!
(3.) List your top priorities
Remember that you can afford any dream you have for your wedding, but you can’t afford everything (most likely). List what you can’t have a wedding without. After you have that list, fill in the gaps with the rest. Would that photo booth make your day any less special? If not, ditch it from the plan unless you have excess cash at the end to spend.
Most people will just “figure it out later”. Please don’t be this person.
If these costs seem too much for you to cover than you are going to have to make some adjustments (Did I say do not go into debt yet?). It is up to you to make those decisions as to where to cut. There is so much information out there on how to save money for weddings. Just be mindful of what YOU really want and make sure you are meeting your savings goals.
What it comes down to in the end is your priorities in life. If you’ve always dreamed of an amazing wedding and the cost is worth it to you, then go for it! If you’d rather elope and spend the money to travel the world for a year, then do that. It’s about curating your choices to fit the lifestyle you want. Weddings are a huge expense, and if your going to have one you need to plan. Take 10 minutes and think about it, even if you’re not engaged. Before you know it, only one thing will be on your mind, here comes the bride.
Cheers,
Andrew
Andrew is the host of The Personal Finance Podcast, a show that is changing the way you think about your money. His primary goal with the podcast is to bring as much value as possible to his listeners.
Andrew's favorite free financial tool he's been using since 2014 to manage his net worth is Personal Capital. Each month he uses their free Investment Checkup tool and Retirement Planner to track his investments and ensure that he's on the fast track to financial freedom.
His favorite investment platform is M1 Finance, a site that allows him to build a custom portfolio of stocks for free. It has no trading fees and is his preferred way to invest without having to lift a finger.
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